A friend once asked me “why do you always try to be good?”.
There’s a thin line between being good for being good sake, and being good for fear of being bad. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference.
Some of the problems: prioritising other people at the expense of my own feelings, suppressing my emotional reaction to bullshit, refusing to stand up for myself to avoid confrontation, rabid delusion and a compulsion to come out of every situation feeling like “I did the right thing”.
I don’t want to be afraid of being bad.
I don’t want the burden of being good.
I just want to be.