It’s been almost a year since the Big Alert™️ and reflecting on it, the most dramatic changes have been mental.
First, money has been great for my self-esteem.
In many ways, “success” has legitimised my experience of the world. For a long time, I sometimes struggled around people I perceived as wealthier and would shrink at the thought of e.g. sitting at a table having to explain to everyone where Fagba is. But now, I’m proud to say.
I’ve become very comfortable telling my stories because now I realise they make me special. Working with people from all over the world has surely helped, and growing up too, but I think the idea of having money has done the most for my self-esteem.
Two, having money has helped me discover new interests.
The plan for my first payout was to spend it anyhow — not recklessly, but instinctively. I got anxious trying to figure out responsible spending so I decided, fuck it, I’ll do what comes to mind and learn from it. I spent a chunk on family, friends, travel, housing and side projects, a fraction on angel investing and I also tried money-doubling with crypto.
As expected, I did learn a lot. I thoroughly enjoyed spending on family, friends, travel and I want to do more of that. I didn’t really commit to angel investing in the way that I did wuruwuru. And crypto investing was fun until it was not. My thinking was “if I’m so savvy, I should be able to make some money on the internet too”. Welp.
In the end, I didn’t really enjoy playing the money games. I enjoyed learning about the economics and technology of crypto, I enjoyed side projects and the sense of community, but investing was such a bore. But to be fair, I wasn’t exactly thinking long-term. I guess my luck is not compatible with greed.
The other big change has been my sense of ambition.
Some of it is driven by a feeling of indebtedness. Now that I can breathe, I realise how lucky I’ve been, and all I want to do is pay it forward. If I could, I’d gather everyone: family and friends, peers like me who have shaped their craft in a society that can’t really afford to value it; I’d gather everyone, and do a massive giveaway. But obviously, the money won’t go around.
Most of it though is probably because physical wealth has translated into mental wealth for me, and I was raised to give.
And so the list of things I need money for keeps piling: community projects, family support, migration, travel, etc, and if I’m not careful, I’ll run out of cash again for sure. Putting altruism aside, the worst thing about having money is the fear of not having it.
So, my third big theme for 2022 is to get better at money. Much better than last year, at least. Last year, I got paid early Feb and by late April, I was down to 33%. I completely lost track of my expenses and my salary just became one more pipe into the pool. There’s plenty of room for improvement.
I’ve started speaking to friends, trying out The Apps™️, reading books and being more intentional about budgeting and saving. By June, I want to be settled, living on my salary again and planning big expenses ahead. From there, I can try again to invest again, this time with a long-term mindset.
Step one though is to stop bleeding cash.
