A friend once asked me “why do you always try to be good?”. It was probably a casual question, but many years later I still carry it. There’s a thin line between being good for being good sake, and being good for fear of being bad. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference. Some of the problems: prioritising other people at the expense of my own feelings, suppressing my emotional reaction to bullshit, refusing to stand up for myself to avoid confrontation, rabid delusion and a compulsion to come out of every situation feeling like “I did the right thing”.
